I didn’t realize it until 30 plus years later and my supportive boyfriend telling me, knowing my history saying that I have been living in a elevated state of hyperviligence, always on alert, because of previous trauma, loss- grief, in a relationship or living with someone in active addiction and never knowing what to expect, countless “emergency” calls, or getting another call with bad news, becoming terrified to hear the phone ring. Having a full blown panic attack seeing a phone call come in. On edge in certain relationships not knowing when the next explosion would happen. Never feeling safe, of all places, my own home. I thank god for my yoga, bike rides, or day trips by myself in nature to help ground me despite the chaos I was surrounded by at times. This has all come to a screeching halt after another major loss and now being in a relationship that I feel completely safe in. Letting someone “in” after finally having so much peace after all the turmoil settled was a challenge for me. Not wanting to rely on anyone else for help or support, thinking I can do this on my own like I always have. I am woman, hear me roar. I surrendered in a huge way to let someone help support me and make me stronger, for this I am beyond grateful! We can not continue to live in this state of fight or flight, our body will create illness, or break down in one way or another as mine recently has. Learning that I am safe and protected. I can relax and trust that I am taken care of, by my boyfriend and myself. This picture was at a turning point, my first vacation to Las Vegas being able to relax and feel safe with who I am with and where I am in my life. ❤️🩹
Living in fight or flight or a state of hypervigilance is like having your body’s alarm system stuck in the “on” position. It’s not just an emotional experience—it’s a whole-body physiological state that affects your nervous system, hormones, immune function, digestion, and even your thoughts and relationships.
🧠 What Is “Fight or Flight”?
The fight-or-flight response is your body’s sympathetic nervous system activation—a primal survival mechanism triggered by real or perceived threat.
When this response becomes chronic, your body no longer returns to baseline. Instead, it lives in a constant state of alert, flooding you with cortisol, adrenaline, and tension—even in the absence of danger.
🧠 What Is Hypervigilance?
Hypervigilance is a trauma-adapted state of being constantly on guard, scanning for threats, anticipating danger, or feeling unsafe—even in calm environments.
It’s often a protective adaptation in people who’ve experienced:
Childhood neglect or abuse
PTSD, loss, or medical trauma
Living with addiction, violence, or unpredictability
High-control or emotionally chaotic environments
🚨 Signs and Symptoms of Living in Chronic Fight-or-Flight or Hypervigilance
🔹 Physical Signs
Muscle tension (jaw, neck, shoulders)
Shallow breathing or frequent sighing
Rapid heart rate or palpitations
Trouble falling or staying asleep (especially waking at 3–4 AM)
Anchor to the present moment: “I am safe right now”
Create rituals of predictability (morning tea, journal, music)
Use safe connection (with a pet, therapist, or trusted friend) to co-regulate
Notice and name what feels neutral or safe in your body
🔹 3. Nervous System Nutrition
Magnesium (glycinate, threonate): calms the nervous system
B vitamins (especially B6, B12, folate): for adrenal and brain function
Adaptogens: ashwagandha, rhodiola, holy basil
Omega-3s: reduce inflammation and improve brain resilience
Stable blood sugar: eat protein/fat at every meal, avoid fasting when dysregulated
🔹 4. Mind-Body Awareness
Journaling with prompts like:
“What feels threatening right now?”
“What do I need to feel safe?”
“What part of me is trying to protect me?”
Practice internal family systems (IFS) to recognize protective “parts”
Grounding statements: “That was then, this is now.”
🔹 5. Trauma-Sensitive Therapies
Somatic Experiencing (Peter Levine)
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
TRE (Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises)
Polyvagal therapy
🧘♀️ Micro-Ritual to Shift Out of Hypervigilance (Daily Practice)
🔄 “I notice I’m on edge. I take a breath. I soften my jaw. I press my feet into the earth. I’m safe in this moment.”
Do this 3 times a day as a nervous system check-in. It retrains your brain-body connection and builds resilience over time.
🕊 Final Thought
Living in fight-or-flight is not your fault—it’s a protective adaptation to overwhelming life experiences. But your body wants to heal. Safety is not just a concept—it is a felt experience you can rebuild with care, repetition, and compassion.
